Does your child constantly argue with you and other adults? No matter what you do, you seem to always find yourself in a power struggle. You ask them to eat their vegetables and it turns into a full-blown debate. 

If this sounds like your daily struggle, then your child might be exhibiting “Defiant” characteristics. Let’s explore what this means, why it’s a problem, and how ABA can help you navigate it.

What is a Defiant Child?

A Defiant child goes beyond the occasional tantrum or disagreement. It’s a pattern of oppositional and stubborn behavior directed toward you, their teachers, or other adults around them. It’s like your child has a built-in no-button that gets pressed on repeat and it can be incredibly frustrating for everyone involved.

Here’s what you need to remember: Children who are persistently oppositional or defiant are most likely not acting out of spite.

Researchers believe that there are complex underlying factors that contribute to this behavior. A Defiant child can stem from a combination of biological/neurological, genetic, and environmental factors. Many Defiant children struggle with skills like self-regulation, and problem-solving in emotional situations. This makes it difficult for them to control their impulses which leads to them lashing out. 

A family history of ADHD or other behavioral hurdles can also increase this behavior as well as parenting styles. If you are overly permissive or strict it can create an environment where your child’s defiant behavior gets unintentionally reinforced.

How to spot a Rigid Routinist

Here are signs to look for to find out if your child fits this behavioral category.

• Often argues with authority figures
• Often actively defies or refuses to comply with requests from authority figures or with rules
• Often deliberately annoys others
• Often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
• Do not regard themselves as angry, oppositional, or defiant. Instead, they often justify their behavior as a response to unreasonable demands or circumstances
• May complain about unreasonable demands
• Frequently in trouble at school for not following rules
• Picks fights, prone to conflict
• Always questioning rules and refusing to follow rules
• Often loses temper
• Emotional dysregulation: quick mood changes, excessive emotionality (sensitivity to emotion eliciting events)
• Impulsive
• Might be aggressive toward others, either in response to something that occurred or when seemingly unprovoked 

When does it become a problem?

It’s normal for any child to be defiant sometimes. They may argue, talk back, or disobey especially when they are feeling tired, hungry, frustrated, or upset. 

However, defiance becomes a concern when it’s happening constantly with severe outbursts and angry meltdowns and it’s significantly interfering with your child’s ability to function at school, socially, or at home.

In this case, your child’s defiance may be a sign of something more serious such as having an Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) — an ongoing pattern of being argumentative, rebellious, and hostile towards authority figures like parents, teachers, or caregivers.  Many areas of life can be negatively impacted by a Defiant child’s behavior. Some examples of how defiance may affect your child’s daily life include:

Social/Emotional

• Development of depression
• Serious conduct disorders and antisocial behavior
• Impulse control problems
• Substance use disorder
• Having unstable relationships and social difficulties such as rejection by peers

School

• Poor school and work performance
• Disciplinary problems due to arguments with teachers or disruptions in class
• Having low motivation to learn

Family

• Tense and stressful home environment
• Parents express high levels of stress, exhaustion, and frustration
• Weakened family bonds and constant sibling tensions

How ABA therapy can help

ABA is the science of behavior — this means that ABA focuses on understanding the underlying reasons why your child acts the way they do. Behavioral therapists will work with you to analyze your child’s behavior patterns, identify triggers, and develop a personalized treatment plan to address the root causes of the defiance.

ABA is a multi-pronged approach that can address both your needs and your child’s. Here are ways it can help:

For Parents

• Parental strategies – You’ll learn effective techniques for positive reinforcement, clear and consistent discipline, and behavior monitoring. This empowers you to be a positive influence in your child’s life and manage challenging behaviors more effectively.
• Support system – ABA therapists can also guide you in creating a collaborative home environment that supports your child’s progress.

For Children

• Emotional regulation – Therapists will help your child develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage their emotions effectively. This includes identifying emotional cues, learning calming techniques, and constructively expressing their feelings.
• Problem-solving skills – ABA therapy can equip your child with the tools they need to navigate challenges, find solutions to problems, and communicate their needs assertively.
• Social skills development – Through role-playing, social skills training, and positive reinforcement for positive interactions, ABA therapy can help your child build strong social connections and develop healthy relationships.

With ABA therapy, you can help your child overcome their defiance and function better in all aspects of their life!

If you want to learn more about Defiant behavior or are considering ABA therapy for your child, please reach out to the Empirian Team. We are always happy to discuss and help in any way we can!