Have you ever noticed your child get a little quiet or shy in new situations? Maybe they seem unsure of what to do at a birthday party or get nervous when it’s their turn to line up at the register. This is completely normal!
Imagine how confusing the world can be for a child. Unlike us adults, they haven’t had years of experience figuring out social cues or unwritten behavioral rules in certain situations. They’re constantly encountering new situations — from meeting new kids to going to new places — which can be overwhelming. Sometimes, this confusion can even lead to behaviors we might not like, such as grabbing a toy from a playmate without asking or throwing a tantrum at the grocery store.
This is where social stories come in! Think of them as friendly little guides you can use to help your child understand what to expect and how to act in different situations.
What is a social story?
Social stories are short, personalized, and often visually-aided stories that use clear simple language to explain to a child what they can expect from a given situation, and how they should behave. Here’s an example:
- What to expect: A social story about going to the dentist might explain the different steps involved, like sitting in the big chair, having their teeth cleaned, and maybe even getting a souvenir from the dentist!
- How to behave: The same story about the dentist could explain how to open wide for the dentist, how to gargle in the mini dentist sync, and how to brush their teeth properly at home.
Social stories were created by Dr. Carol Gray back in the 1990s. She initially developed them as a tool for children with autism to help them understand social interactions, but they’ve proven to be beneficial for any child who needs extra help to navigate the social world. Social stories are especially helpful to children who may have:
- ADHD
- Anxiety
- Behavior challenges
- Problems with social skills
- Sensory processing delays
- Learning hurdles
How do social stories work?
Social stories are like little social roadmaps that your child can use as a guide in navigating a certain situation.
- It breaks the situation down into manageable steps. The social story makes the new situation less overwhelming for your child. It allows them to focus on one thing at a time, understanding every aspect of what’s to come.
- It reduces the unknown. New situations can be a source of anxiety and fear for your child. Social stories prepare them for what to encounter, such as new sights, sounds, or routines. This helps make them feel more comfortable before the actual encounter.
- It demonstrates appropriate behavior. Social stories explicitly demonstrate what kind of behavior is expected in a given situation. It can show your child how to greet someone, take turns, or ask for help. Essentially, it provides avenues for children to learn social cues that they may struggle to pick up naturally.
How to create a social story for your child?
While pre-made social stories can be a great starting point, personalizing them for your child’s specific needs is even more effective. Here’s how you can create a social story tailored to your child:
Identify the situation
Think about the situation you want your child to learn appropriate behavior for or to ease their anxiety about. Maybe it’s going to the doctor, sharing toys, or flying on a plane.
Write it out & add pictures
Make a step-by-step short story about what will happen, what your child should do, and if there are coping strategies you’d like them to learn about when in the situation.
Remember, you don’t need a long story — keep it short and sweet!
Use simple words and sentences your child understands. Another thing to keep in mind is to add words like “first”, “next” and “last” to help your child understand the sequence of events. Once you are done, print or draw the images that will help your child visualize what is happening in the story.
Read and repeat
Read the story with your child before they face the situation. You can ask them questions and encourage them to voice out their concerns if any. You may also incorporate role-playing to help your child absorb how the event will play out more.
Remember, social stories are most effective when used consistently. Read the stories with your child regularly, especially before encountering the specific situation you’re preparing them for.